If This, Then That

This Exercise in Conditional Constructs is Completely Unnecessary.

If you’re sickas a dog too, then you should join us for a day of TV-on-DVD in bed. (Cough, cough, cough, sneeze, cough)

If you’re sickas a dog too, then you should join us for a day of TV-on-DVD in bed. (Cough, cough, cough, sneeze, cough)

If you’re here, then I wish you’d say hi. I feel lonely.

If you’re here, then I wish you’d say hi. I feel lonely.

My dog watches the neighborhood from his third floor view. If you’re in the Ukrainian Village, then don’t worry. Brentley will make sure you’re safe.

My dog watches the neighborhood from his third floor view. If you’re in the Ukrainian Village, then don’t worry. Brentley will make sure you’re safe.

I’m assuming this refers to physical pain, but if it includes emotional, then I’m putting this number on speed dial.

I’m assuming this refers to physical pain, but if it includes emotional, then I’m putting this number on speed dial.

This was my favorite guerilla public art piece in Chicago. So much my favorite that I wanted to steal it and put it in my living room. Nobody would help me carry the 100+ pound piece, so it sat behind the Damen bus stop at Division. That is until sone ass-hat tagged it. If you look closely, then you can still see traces of awesomeness: a woman strumming away in front of a gorgeous view of Chicago. Now the art is next to the dumpster. Sad.

This was my favorite guerilla public art piece in Chicago. So much my favorite that I wanted to steal it and put it in my living room. Nobody would help me carry the 100+ pound piece, so it sat behind the Damen bus stop at Division. That is until sone ass-hat tagged it. If you look closely, then you can still see traces of awesomeness: a woman strumming away in front of a gorgeous view of Chicago. Now the art is next to the dumpster. Sad.

audreyhepburncomplex:

If you want to be popular, you can’t afford to be skinny!

audreyhepburncomplex:

If you want to be popular, you can’t afford to be skinny!

If there’s a warm pile of clean laundry, then you’ll find my dog burying himself in it.

If there’s a warm pile of clean laundry, then you’ll find my dog burying himself in it.

If discipline is the route to success then distractions and complaints are the scenic roads and outlet malls calling out your name.

— says rikin.

If you know who tags “Forgive” around Chicago, then tag me jealous. I’ve seen it everywhere from Hyde Park to Uptown, and as far west as Humboldt Park. I’m a huge fan.

If you know who tags “Forgive” around Chicago, then tag me jealous. I’ve seen it everywhere from Hyde Park to Uptown, and as far west as Humboldt Park. I’m a huge fan.

If you’re quirky, then I’m interested. This retro ATM bears no bank name or fee list. I wanted to withdraw cash just to see if it worked, but I was concerned I’d never see my card again, or any of my money. If someone else is brave enough, then the ATM is located at 3747 N Southport in Chicago.

If you’re quirky, then I’m interested. This retro ATM bears no bank name or fee list. I wanted to withdraw cash just to see if it worked, but I was concerned I’d never see my card again, or any of my money. If someone else is brave enough, then the ATM is located at 3747 N Southport in Chicago.