If you’re quirky, then I’m interested. This retro ATM bears no bank name or fee list. I wanted to withdraw cash just to see if it worked, but I was concerned I’d never see my card again, or any of my money. If someone else is brave enough, then the ATM is located at 3747 N Southport in Chicago.
Crunch: the name of a chocolate bar, but the sound of leaves and hearts being stomped on. Chocolate improves both, but fixes nothing. If only I liked chocolate, but perhaps a chocolate stout will do, since I always like beer.
If you need tips on breaking up over IM, then here's a tutorial:
Him: good morning, Elisha...
Him: i would like to have one of those "not terribly fun" conversations with you, if you're game
Me: Weird, ok.
Him: well, you've probably noticed i haven't been as communicative as before, so you likely know what's up
Him: there's someone else i meet randomly at a play a few weeks ago, since been dating, and its getting more serious
Him: so, i wanted you to know that even though i genuinely enjoy hanging out with you, had a lot of fun on saturday, and think you're awesome, that probably shouldn't continue now
Me: Well, thank you.
Him: : i just wanted to be totally up front with you, and last night is when the decision was made that things had become more serious
Him: and i figured that would be the cue for me to talk to you about it
Me: It's really not a big deal. Enjoy.
Him: well, okay
Me: What do you expect? It hurts. I feel bad. But it's good for you, so that's great. It's fine.
Him: yeah, that sounds about right, i feel bad in my own way too
Him: not that that helps
Me: No, and you shouldn't feel bad.
Me: Anyway. Good luck. Congratulations. Whatever is said now.
Him: yeah, i don't know what exactly is said
Him: but i hope that life is good for you
Him: good bye, then
Me: (ran away to cry)
If you’re new to Chicago, then you must drink a shot of Malört. If you’ve had Malört, then introduce someone new (and unsuspecting). Tonight I’m taking a new-to-Chicago friend to the locals-only bars, all serving Malort in dusty bottles. It will be a jolly good time. I fully expect to do nothing at all tomorrow (except maybe vomit).
If Gillette were in the silverware business, how many prongs would a fork have?
— (via creynolds)
If you pay per word, then I'll write for days.
Newest article idea: 67 Ways to Please Your Man and Normalize Trade Relations with China.
Next up:
- Nine Sex Positions to Stimulate the US Economy
- Ten Insanely Hot Girls Who Want You To Support the Kyoto Protocol
- The Joy of Sex Under Communism
- Bombs in Iraq to Make Him Rip Off Your Pants
- Karzai’s brother, the CIA and the Furred Handcuffs That Kept Them Together
I continue to combine my interests in sex and international politics.
At the very least, be emotionally available and up for adventure. Wishy-washiness blows. If you don’t follow your heart then we probably aren’t going to get along. I’d much rather do the wrong thing and be super happy than be righteous and boring and drab.
— My ex has this on his dating profile. He’s right.
If I keep waking up at 6am, then I’ll never need an alarm clock again. I will likely go insane though. That’s the only down side.
If we want to be the global leader in HIV, we need to act like it.
If I read about it, then I’ll have to do it. Remember that article about giving your man a beer in the shower to cheer him up? Yeah, I tried it. I gave myself a beer in the shower and had a great time. My day improved instantly. Try it. Just be careful drunk texting from the shower.
